I just found this paragraph elsewhere on the internet. It sounded great so I'll reproduce it here, at fabulous expense, for you:

I am a good employee; honest, hardworking, and not a terrorist. But sometimes, something seems a little off about me, like my mind is wandering, dreaming of hills once traversed and streams once forded as the mighty ox fords a raging river -- for in my youth I was an ox among men. Strong, but supple, and caring, and always alert for danger in any form, whether it be flora or bees. But I never abandoned my post, as an ox on that small stream; always watching for danger, fording streams, and posing for ox magazines. I stood astride that little plot of land like a colossus, lost in the mists of time, searching for my escape, my break into the world of mainstream ox-magazine modeling. And someday, that break will come.

Current Mood: Stellar
Current Music: "Macy's Day Parade" by Green Day [iTunes]

It has come to my attention, like so many other things, that someone else reads my blog. Careful and attentive, also witty, good looking, and charming, readers will note that this brings my total readership up to four. You may soon look for me as Demagogue Stormy, as I will undoubtedly influence untold numbers, nay, legions, of common folk to, perhaps, rise up and revolt against those stupid wings.

I'm finding it excessively difficult to type tonight, I keep hitting many of the wrong keys. Also, I was just hit by some kind of weariness wave, a veritable wall of energy-sucking karma.

Current Mood: Like I'm Forgetting Something, But What, Dammit?
Current Music: "El Scorcho" by Weezer on the album Pinkerton [iTunes]

You might find this interesting. I know I did.

Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: "In This World" by Moby on the album 18 [iTunes]

Only after my roommate bought a case o' Bawls did I finally become acquainted with the drink. I am now a fan of it, not only of its flavor, but also its bottle. You will note that it is labeled as "guarana". I went and looked that up, but it didn't really shed any light on just what the heck guarana is. Then I went to Google and did an I'm Feeling Lucky, which took me straight to guarana.com. That page looked like it was going to shed a lot more light on the subject than I was actually looking for, so I closed the window. But I did appreciate the picture. I am now aware that the word guarana, whatever it is, has effects similar to a can of LiveWire. When hear the word, and you see it written so succinctly there under BAWLS, you want to drink it, thinking, "Dear God! Guarana? Guarana?! That could easily be the cure for my catastrophic failings!" Unlike LiveWire, however, when you actually do drink it (and you will), it does not disappoint. Similar to ingesting the essence of all that is good, it will leave you feeling satisfied on a level that LiveWire cannot hope to match. I do realize that Bawls is nearly ten times the price of LiveWire, but let me say that it is well worth more than that. If you are looking for a cheap thrill, an unclean floozy that will certainly leave you feeling gypped and dirty, and probably with some incurable disease, LiveWire is your key to happiness. However, if you are a person who desires class, personality, flavor, and charming good looks, Bawls will bring you up from the disgusting gutters of that other drink. As a final note, I would like to point out that on the side of the case were printed the words "never sleep again" in large capital letters. Certainly unrelated to the previous ramblings is the fact that there is a new version of iTunes Check available. It is primarily a bug fix update.

Current Mood: I need to type less, my wrist is starting to hurt
Current Music: "Only In Dreams" by Weezer on the album Weezer [iTunes]

There is a new version of iTunes Check out. This is a big update, too, yields much additional flavor. Let me know.

Current Mood: Like I need some exercise
Current Music: "After The Storm f. Jennifer" by The Cynic Project [iTunes]

I do not have much to say about the obvious topic at hand. Several days ago I awoke to the rustling and rumbling of aluminum. At first it sounded like somebody was rebuilding the can tower. In my fog of sleep I delighted. But as consciousness gradually took hold of me, I became aware that the sound was not that of construction, it was that of destruction. Specifically, what you see here. While I knew that it was impractical, improbable, impracticable, unlikely, and just plain stupid to think that our sea of cans would not at some point go away, the sudden harsh reality of it struck me like a jiujitsu blow to the solar plexus. All told, there were five and a half bags of uncrushed cans (the ones that are worth something if you recycle them), and one not-very-full bag of crushed cans. Thinking back, we ran out of garbage bags. Where that clear bag containing the crushed cans came from, I have no idea. For a few days, the crushed ones simply formed a carpet of less than bearable comfort over our existing carpet. We tallied and tabulated and formulated an estimated 600 cans. So it with considerable sorrow that I note the passing of our can tower. Goodbye, old friend.

Current Mood: Dark

Promise that forever we will never get better at growing up and learning to lie.

Current Mood: Restless
Current Music: "Good Lives" by Eve 6 on the album It's All in Your Head [iTunes]

Since it looks like iTunesCheck might be a project I'll be working on for a while, with revisions and such, I created a software page, linked over on Otherstuf. Check it out. The new version of iTunesCheck is better than ever.

Current Mood: Like I Should Be Working But I'm Not
Current Music: "worlds collide" by Radium 88 [iTunes]

Ahhh... all the many hours upon hours of work, all that coding. But it's finally paid off in the form of iTunesCheck. I'm far too tired to explain it fully right here and now, but suffice to say that if you use iTunes and you have a Mac, I think you will find it helpful.

Current Mood: Gloriously Satisfied
Current Music: "Whirlpool" by They Might Be Giants on the album Why Does The Sun Shine? (The Sun Is A Mass Of Incandescent Gas) [iTunes]

Of note is the fact that school here ends on May 7. Of further note is that my lease ends at noon, May 8. I am thoroughly looking forward to coming back and getting away from this forsaken hole of misery and cow feces. As I write this, I struggle to see the words through a veritable wall of hair, which only a few weeks ago was at the "long enough to poke you in the eye" stage, and now is at the "long enough to make you blind" stage.

It's been really warm here lately, and it smells like rain outside now. I really want to go for a drive, but I'm missing my iPod, because I finally sent it in for warranty repair on the battery. So instead I simply make myself discontented by playing the Sims, living a full and adventurous, as well as social, life vicariously through my computerized life-forms. I can only gasp in shock at what I would do with a house like that. I was talking about what was going on in my house, about how the neighbors were falling in love there, and that everyone was asleep but the neighbors still wouldn't leave, and why won't somebody fix the dishwasher because it's leaking water all over my hardwood floors, and how come these people can't take a bath without getting water all over the floor? The people I was talking to thought I was talking about a real house that I owned. It made me excited that the other losers I talk to online think that I have an exciting life.

Try this test next time you're driving somewhere and there are other people in your car. After you park, turn off the car and take out the keys, perhaps unbuckle your seatbelt, but don't make any move to get out of the car. I hypothesize that the other people in your car will wait for you to move, and then will eventually become confused and disoriented as to why nothing is happening. It is at this point that you can do what you want with them, take their wallets, or throw them off a bridge, what have you. Try it. Let me know your results.

Current Mood: Heightened
Current Music: "Torn" by Creed on the album My Own Prison [iTunes]