July 25, 2004 12:24 pm

While the title made me think of hot gun-shootin’ action, train-explodin’ action, and mad runnin-down-the-ally-doing-flips-off-the-walls action, there was, I think, only the gun shooting. And it wasn’t really that great.

The thing to keep in mind about The Bourne Supremacy is that your expectations should be very low upon entering the viewing arena. Having set your expectations thusly, you may then be unpleasantly surprised when they are met. Let me say first that, while some people have invented a product called Steadicam to help stabilize camera shake, the producers have apparently never heard of it, or, having heard of it, shunned its existence as one shuns a deadly bacteria, taking precautions like wearing filter masks and washing your hands frequently. It seemed to me that the cameraman had extremely poor motor control, far too much coffee, and was zoomed in too close. I say this because the entire movie was shot Blair Witch style, I think in an attempt to make it super-realistic. In fact, the only goal they accomplished with this feat was to make it super-sickness inducing.

If you have a penchant for motion sickness, you will be better off staying far, far away from this movie. I couldn’t watch more than three quarters of it, simply because I was too sick to view more. I listened to the sound, though, and from that I determined that, even if you have an iron inner ear, it’s not worth dropping money on anyway. The plot is a crummy rehash of the original movie, which wasn’t that good to begin with, the characters are shallow props put up in an attempt to lend life to Jason Bourne, who’s only mission is to figure out what the hell is going on (and no one is good enough to stop him). It’s got lots of political spy intricacies, I think I heard “Get me a plane. I’m going to Washington. Now!” three or four times.

Do yourself a favor and don’t see it. However, you should take a look at this picture, though, because the actor bears a striking resemblance to my friend Jason.

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